Starry Starry Night. Paint Your Palette Blue and Grey. Look Out On a Summer's Day, With Eyes That Know the Darkness in My Soul
You have an extraordinary life. I stated that in my first blog post. I will go one step further. I will say that your life is a work of art. It really is. Imagine our lives are like works of art. Paintings or Sculptures. They are all unique. Created by different artists, and we are the creators. Each one of us is the creator of our own unique work of art.
Think of the beginning of your life.... the instant you were born.... as a blank canvas. We
may enter into this world with our own unique set of Social, Economic, and Cultural circumstances, but otherwise we all are born sharing one common trait. Every baby comes into this world with an innate sense of wholeness. We all start the first instant of our lives with the same blank slate. Not one baby begins their lives by asking, "Am I enough?”, “Am I lovable?” or “Do I matter?”. It is in the seconds after delivery that the drawing begins. The drawing, painting and colouring of one's life. Right after birth, a baby is trying to make sense of their surroundings. They are looking for comfort. Being placed in the arms of your mother is often the first brushstroke on your canvas. Quickly after that our individual paintings diverge. Every experience in life we have after that is a brushstroke that is either adding, subtracting, or adjusting our identities. In other words, the picture of our lives, and the story of our lives is being created with each passing moment.
Think back to your earliest times. To your earliest memories. Then try to imagine your life before your earliest memories. Perhaps photos or videos from that era, or stories you were told by parents and other family members of those earliest days as an infant would be helpful. What were the first designs on your canvas during those earliest times? Who and what are being added to your canvas with each passing day of your life? There are some things that will affect your painting almost right away. Things such as the social, cultural, and economic circumstances you were born into. These things will have a direct effect on your parents, and therefore will have a direct influence on you and how your parents provide for you and nurture you in your earliest days, months, and years. These are constants in our early lives. Our parents, our surroundings, and our nurturing. These are the things that shape us in our earliest times. This is the die that has been cast that provides the foundation in the earliest stages of our lives. The framework. Things that as infants and children, we have no control over. Think of these people and things in your life. Those things go a long way in determining who we are.
I will tell you some of mine. I was born a year and a day after my oldest brother. My parents lived in a middle-class neighborhood. My father worked for an insurance company as an Office Manager and Accountant. My mother was a homemaker. Looking after my older brother, who was just becoming a toddler, and now caring for an infant as well. She had no help from grandparents. My family had good connections with extended family. Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins on my Dad’s side lived in our city, and we interacted with them often. We also had close ties with my mother’s side, but they lived out of town, so the interaction was different. Connection would be through mail and telephone, and we would see them on special occasions, such as vacations. My parents had a close circle of friends. Many of them were from childhood. My brother and I had shelter, and we were fed and well-cared for. We did not do without, and there was no danger of that, that I knew of. My mother’s parents were of Irish heritage, and my father’s came over from England.
I am imagining the beginnings of my painting right now. A relatively stable homelife with
Dad as the breadwinner, and Mom the homemaker. A nice little two-bedroom home with a white picket fence in the suburbs would be in there somewhere. For the most part, I was safe and well looked after. No doubt there were other things that were present or took place during those early years that I would not be aware of that were a part of my family's life that affected my environment. Subtle little brush strokes, that you may have to look closely to see. But they are there. Things such as issues Dad may have been having at work. The stresses on Mom of looking after an infant and a toddler with little or no assistance. Relationship issues. Financial issues. Things that other families face, and often deal with in different ways. These things would all be part of my painting. Along with the people, my home, and oh yes... pets.
The canvas for our paintings would have to be pretty large. I know mine would. Imagine a series of paintings representing different stages of your life. Or perhaps a mural on a wall would be more appropriate. Or a book full of the pages of your life as you follow your path.
These were some of the constants in my life at the time. Those things that I relied on and depended on as a child during those years. These are things that helped me make sense of the world. These are things that shaped me in my earliest years of life. These are things that helped me feel safe and secure. Safety and security are things that all children need to feel, and at that stage, the chief source of that comes from our parents or guardians.
So what about you? What is in your early drawing or painting? Who are the people? What are some of the things? What events took place? What are the conditions? How do these people and things make you feel? What colours would you use in your painting? Bright and colourful? Or maybe gray and more somber?
Shadows on the Hills. Sketch the Trees and the Daffodils. Catch the Breeze and the Winter Chills In Colours on the Snowy Linen Land
I described some of the constants in my early life and what the initial stages of the painting of my life might look like. I also consider the changes in my life during those years. As I have stated, the one constant is change. Children need stability in their lives. They need things they can depend and rely on. But change is going to happen, so it is the parent's responsibility to lessen the impact of change on the child.
I consider the changes in my life, and how my painting changes as I move forward. Such as
family moves. My family made three moves before we settled in the home where I essentially grew up, at the age of three. One of those moves was to Toronto for a short while. I consider the career changes for my Dad where he was transferred to Toronto, and then came back to our hometown of Winnipeg to manage a family business. This was a total about-face in his career that would impact our family for years. I consider changes in our family. My parents had one more child. A younger brother for us. Five years younger. I recall family members passing away. We grew apart from some family, and then others would enter our lives. Years later, the most impactful change was the passing of my mother way too young in life. Way too early for me and my brothers to lose our Mom. She held our family together. Consider the impact of losing a parent. Especially losing one at an early age. As a child. As an infant. Consider the impact on your life. These are just a few of the changes I experienced that would be reflected in my painting.
I consider my friends. The ones that I met at school, as neighbours, or through different activities. I consider those that came into my life and those that left. Those that influenced me positively and negatively. I consider the changes to our family economically, and what we were able to do as a result. The vacations. The things that were provided to us and activities we took part in. Our ability to pursue a university education. There are so many things that impact my painting. So many things that impacted my life. So many people and events shaping my path. And these are just the early years. I consider the different stages of my life. So many memories and images come to mind. I consider the impacts of these things, and even get some clarity, as I begin to connect the dots of different events in my life.
What about you? How does your painting change? What changes took place. Who is constant and who is not there as the years go by? What does your path look like?
Consider something else. Who was holding the brush or pencil for your painting during
your early stages and childhood? I suggest that for the large part it was your parents. Or one of your parents, or a guardian. There may be a significant other person that was in your life at the time such as a mentor, coach, or “Big Brother”. Someone that influenced you, but odds are that person came into your life through some direction or action by your main provider. Your parents provide the base. The foundation. Your home. Your values. Your security. Your direction during these years. They provide access to the different relationships in your early life. There comes a time when the brush is handed over to you. Typically, this would happen during the teenage years. Sometimes early, but usually as you approach your late teens. This is when you start taking control. You take responsibility for what your painting looks like. You are the artist. The paint has dried on the canvas of your story up to this point. You can’t change what has been drawn. You can’t change the past. But you are in control of what goes into the painting from this point forward. As much as you have been defined by your painting thus far, once you have the brush you are now in charge of your own creation. And as you design your life, you are the one who can edit, adjust, and subtly retouch anything that you are drawing as you move forward. Once you have the brush, you have control to shape your life in a more meaningful way. In the way you want. To influence and shape your own identity.
Do you recall when the brush was turned over to you? When did it happen? How was the transition? Sometimes we are ill-prepared for this change. We drop the brush. We may not know what to draw. What comes next? You may not feel like a very good artist.
But let me tell you that you are. It doesn’t matter if you are a Picasso, Van Gogh, or if you
draw stick people. The key is the direction you are heading in your painting. You may not know what is on your horizon. What is there may not be what you are looking for, but I encourage you to consider what is beyond that horizon, and how to get there. The key question I ask you is “What is calling you forward?” What beckons you forward? What do you want to design into your painting. What will the brush strokes on your canvas be? Your painting is your life, and you are the artist. You are now in control. You can be a work of art and a work in progress at the same time.
There is no one like you. No one that brings your unique strengths and qualities to the table. No one that is uniquely qualified to do the things that you can do.
Pick up your brush. Keep it in your hand. Don’t hand it over to anyone else. Keep imagining. Keep drawing. Keep creating.
You are a Masterpiece, and so is your Crooked Path..... I will see you there.
Check Your CPS (Crooked Path Story) - From time to time, I will include an activity that compliments the content of my blog. My intention is to help make what I write more meaningful to you, and help you relate to your own personal journey.
Just as we have become accustomed to checking our GPS to keep us on track, see where we have been, and consider the path forward, I encourage you to check your CPS. It will help you Make That Change
AfterNotes -
Vincent (Starry Starry Night) - Don McLean
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