Running On Empty. Running Blind. Running Into The Sun, But I'm Running Behind - Running On Empty - Jackson Browne
If you are tired, you need rest. If you are drained, you need a break.
It is normal to feel down, tired, and emotionally exhausted when you are going through a big transition or change. Especially when you have had to let go of something that was part of your life for so long. Part of your comfort zone. Whether that be something good, or something not so good. It was something you were used to. Maybe it is that one thing that had been holding you back, but it was so difficult for you to let go of. It is hard to let go of the familiar for the unfamiliar. To let go of comfort, for discomfort. Great changes are not meant to be easy. They arise to inspire your growth. Whatever you are feeling at the moment, acknowledge the moment and simply rest.
Do you need rest? You need to listen to your body. If your body is screaming at you to slow
down, don't feel guilty. If you don't do it, your body will do it in it's own way. You need to take care of your body. So, it is okay to take a break. It is okay to rest. Take a moment. Be still.
We can all benefit from taking a break. Especially as we are moving forward on our paths, stepping outside of our comfort zone and breaking new ground. It is important to be able to rest our minds and bodies for the road ahead. Respect your body when it is asking for a break. Respect your mind when it is seeking some peace. Honour yourself when you need a moment to yourself
It is okay to rest, and it is okay to recharge. It is one of the most important things you will ever do. One of the biggest lies and limiting beliefs that we may hear, or may tell ourselves, is that rest is not purposeful. But when it comes to personal growth and moving along our paths, at least half of your work is done while you are sleeping. Yes, it is. So, skipping sleep is not going to help. Taking days off and doing something restful that you enjoy is helpful, not hurtful. When you are learning and moving outside your comfort zone, it is really important because rest allows you to integrate. It allows you to heal physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It allows all these parts of you to integrate. One affects the other. There is a great synergy between your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual selves. Rest also allows any new information and experiences to settle and become part of who you are. You need to rest in order to integrate these newer versions of yourself. This isn’t work you need to be conscious of. Think of a steak marinating in the refrigerator overnight. Or that slab of lasagna resting for 15 minutes after you remove it from the oven, before cutting into it. Everything is melding together. Let go of the limiting belief that you are not doing something worthwhile when you are resting. When your analytical mind is turned off, maximum levels of healing can be achieved. Listen to what your body is telling you. We grow in phases, rather than continually. Unstoppable one day, and stagnant the next. Think of the rings on a tree, which each represent periods of growth. Growth takes energy. It is okay to rest and rejuvenate.
Sleep is not a dead space, but a doorway to a different kind of consciousness. One that is reflective and restorative. Full of tangential thought and unexpected insights – Katherine May, Author
Think of any downtime as an opportunity to take a step back. Get grounded. Clear the energy that does not belong to you. There may be people not supporting you that are projecting their weaknesses onto you. Take your power back. Live from your own truth, and not from other’s misconceptions.
An irony is that as we step out of our comfort zone to learn. grow, and see what we are
capable of, what was once uncomfortable becomes comfortable. Our comfort zone changes. Our comfort zone expands. It evolves. It shifts. As we step into discomfort, we will acquire new levels of comfort. And it is okay to rest there. To recover and integrate what we have learned. The comfort zone does serve a purpose. It is a useful tool, as we move along our paths. As long as we use it intentionally and purposefully. As long as we don’t hide there, and as long as we move on when we are ready.
Every one of us has a different mind, and every one of us has a different relationship with our mind. We all have different breaking points. And we have to be aware of our breaking points. It is up to each of us to not only be aware of our physical well-being, but of our mental well-being as well.
No One Knows Better Than You As To What Is Going On Inside Of You
Self-care is not talked about in some families. That can cause you to be too hard on yourself. You may feel you just have to suck it up. Wanting a break may make you feel like you are weak. Not wanting to ask for help. But that kind of thinking can be destructive to your mind, body, and overall well-being. You are not lazy or unmotivated. After years of living in the survival mode, you may be emotionally drained. No amount of sleep in the world may be able to cure the tiredness that you feel. Because of years of incongruence, dissonance, people-pleasing and disrespecting yourself, you have experienced soul loss. You may not know yourself. You have developed spiritual fatigue that can only be cured by soul nourishment.
You must be aware of the environment around you. Is it healthy? What has your activity
level been? How has your pace been as you are making changes in your life? Are you running on empty? You need to take time to care for yourself.
Traumas that we have faced years ago can be activated again in high-stress situations. Each of us needs to know when it is time to take a break. Whatever you have been going through, and for how long, may be wreaking havoc on you, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You will be doing yourself a favour by giving yourself a break. Rather than looking at taking a break as a sign of weakness, why not look at it as a sign of strength? A sign that you know yourself well enough that you can take a step back and then return stronger?
Even though it is hard to feel at ease when there may be a lot of unease around, and there is so much work to do, resting and slowing down isn’t something to fear. It is something to cultivate, to embrace, and to relish. Rushing or running through your life is actually a red flag. So today, commit to resting as well as rising. Know that you can do both. Resting allows you to be still, better understand why you are here, what got you here, and where you are going. Rising allows you to set your focus to begin anew on the path that lays in front of you. Resting prepares you to rise.
I had said in “Rest Stops Along The Crooked Path”
that if you are tired, you need rest. If you are drained, you need a break. If you are hurting, you need your own compassion. Nothing will change for the better until you give yourself what you need. You are stressed because it is stressful. You are tired because it is tiring. There is no need to be down on yourself because you are struggling. It all makes sense. If you get tired... When you get tired... Learn to rest. But never quit. You have not come this far, just to come this far. You don’t rest just so you can sink back into your comfort zone.
What You Need Is Peace. Peace So That You Can Reset, Refocus, Re-energize, and Consider a Path Forward
Reconsidering Rest -
Consider the prefix “Re”. “Re” is a prefix that originates from Latin. It is used with other words to indicate repetition (doing something “again”, or “again and again”). It is also used with different words to indicate going backward, or withdrawal.
Let’s consider some of those Really good things that we can work on, and experience, while we rest. Those things we may want to do Repetitively. We don’t want to go backwards. We don’t want to Regress
Reflect – Taking a pause is an ideal time to reflect. Look at it this way... The more reflective you are, the more effective you are. When you reflect, you increase your self-awareness.
Remember how we benefit from Self-Awareness. It allows us to evaluate and learn from our experiences. Things that were not clear or did not make sense at the time, all of a sudden fall into place. We can reflect on how far we have come. We can ask ourselves questions. Evaluate the steps that we have taken. What went well? Reflect on the experience. Was it difficult? Reflect on your feelings. How did it feel moving forward? How does it feel now? What would you do differently?
If you haven’t started writing or keeping a journal, now might be a good time to start. When you write, you reflect. Recall kicks into gear. Feelings and events rush back. It is all coming out on paper. When you reflect, you question. When you question, you improve.
Ask yourself, have your actions helped, or are they hurting? There doesn’t have to be a definitive answer. Ask yourself if this is what you envisioned prior to the change. Are you on track? Are you tracking in the right direction? What is your gut telling you? Finding your way forward isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes time, patience, and reflection. A good practice to get into is to start your day with purpose and end it with reflection. And a great way to do that is by journaling. Just sayin’
Without Reflection, We Go Blindly On Our Way, Creating More Unintended Consequences, And Failing to Achieve Anything Useful - Margaret J. Wheatley, Author
Reflection will help you connect the dots in preparation for your next steps. It will help you grow and improve. Don’t just reflect on where you have been. Reflect on where you want to go. What is next? What change, or other changes, do you want to create? What is required of you in order to have the change you want? In order to go where you want to go? Also consider how you get in your own way. Use this time of reflection to improve yourself.
Remember to give yourself a pat on the back. Moving forward on your path is no small accomplishment. Recall what you went through to take that first step. It doesn’t matter where you start, but it does matter when you start. You can’t start on your death bed, as you reflect on that step you didn’t take, that dream you never achieved, and that life you never lived.
The stories that we tell ourselves... our own personal narratives... determine how we interpret the world. So, give yourself some grace. Be sure to reflect on, and work to create, a positive and healthy narrative. There is no such thing as a bad day, if you reflect on the positive things that have happened. Reflection strengthens your perspective.
Once you have reflected on where you have come from, and where you are now and how
you feel, you will eventually get to a comfort level that allows you to reflect on what you want to see next. Reflect on your goals. Have they changed? Reflect on moving towards what you truly want. The vision you have for yourself and your life.
What is next? What are you going to do next? How are you going to live your life, moving forward, and live your passion? You may have been suffering, knowing that you had a deeper purpose, or that you finally discovered what it is that you want to do, and did not know when and how to start. Well, here you are. Reflection will help you determine your next steps. What knowledge or skills do you need to acquire? What support do you need? What action do you need to take? Reflection, along with Knowledge, Support, and Action are a synergistic combination that leads to progress and success.
When we move from one situation to another... From one phase to another.... From one relationship to another... we need to take time to pause and reflect. We do not want to repeat dysfunctional or painful patterns, so this really is a necessary step. This is easier said than done. Life is full of problems. The move you are making, although positive, may create more problems in the short term. It is difficult to reflect in the midst of chaos. Let’s say it is almost impossible to reflect properly in chaos and come away with clarity and certainty regarding the decisions you are making.
Some people in the midst of change are able to actually step away. Take some time off work. Some may have the luxury of outright quitting a job, while they determine their next steps. Getting away... Going on a retreat... Getting out of the city, where you can be by yourself to think and reflect is helpful. Many of us are not that fortunate, so what do you do? You have to intentionally make time. You must build time into your schedule... Block it off... And use that time to do what you need to do.
You will need discipline to stick to your schedule. You will need to block off enough time. If you need more time, take it. You will need support from the people that are in your circle. Family, friends, work associates, peers... If they truly care about your well-being, they will support you. You need to act on this intentionally, because if you do not, all the urgent needs of the day will just consume you, and you will never have time to reflect or reflect properly. Remember that we have the power to choose our response to whatever happens to us.
This Is The Time To Flex Our Proactivity Muscles And Make Or Take Whatever Time Is Necessary
I have said that I am a reflecter. Life is lived forward but understood backwards. I have said that I take time to reflect. I schedule time. It benefits me greatly, as I consider my own path forward. It is easier for me now because I am retired and doing things more or less on my terms. I don’t have the 9 to 5 (or more) job. I live alone. My children are grown up and are on their own. It is easier, but still not easy. There are plenty of things in my life that can distract me. And then there is discipline. You must have the discipline not only to schedule or make time. But you also have to keep that commitment. That commitment to yourself. Discipline is something I have struggled with throughout my life, and I will get into that in the future. I suspect that may be for you as well. Success hinges on discipline. Make the time to reflect, while you rest
Recognize – As you reflect, you will recognize a number of things. First, you will recognize how far you have come. You will recognize your growth.
Think of how you felt before you took the steps forward. You could have felt any combination of confused, unhappy, unfulfilled, dependent, unworthy, incapable... and now here you are. You may feel vulnerable but remove any negative self-talk. You are outside your comfort zone now and remember that what you experience directly outside your comfort zone is freedom and fear. But that is exactly what will drive you forward. There really is joy in the journey. Don’t get so focused on what is wrong, that you don’t recognize what is right. Recognize your victories. Give yourself credit. No matter how big or small, all progress is worth celebrating. All growth deserves to be recognized. Any change for the better deserves applause. And if no one is applauding you, you need to applaud yourself. Be proud of this moment. Recognizing the positive will empower you and make you more able to deal with any areas needing improvement, and other obstacles that you may soon encounter.
Recognize That You Are In Transition
Think of this rest stop as a passageway, as you leave the old and prepare for the new. New beginnings along your path are passages. A passage from a phase, life stage, job, relationship, or other situation. Recognize when these things are over. There is no going back. Passages are mysterious. Moving on and through them is mysterious, but it doesn’t have to be a dramatic event. We are defined by the stories that we tell ourselves, so give yourself some grace. You are well-able.
In “New Beginnings and The Crooked Path”, I compared the planning for change in our lives
to the seasons. In particular, preparing for, and anticipating, Spring while being in the middle of Winter. Think of the phases you go through in life as seasons of your life. Recognize the season that you were in. Recognize the season that you are now in, and how these are preparing you for your next season. It is true that to everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven. If we don’t recognize the season that we are in, we are bound to miss the purpose it is meant to serve, and how it should be preparing us for the next season in our lives. Too often we fail to understand the season we are in right now. This lack of understanding can cause difficulties as we move forward. Embrace where you are. Don’t take that moment for granted.
Be careful not to get stuck in the past. Having second thoughts or doubts about your move. Dwelling on pains and regrets. Looking over your shoulder at the past. Instead, recognize that situations change, and people change. We must live in the present or we will miss the next season in our lives. Recognize the lessons that were there to learn from, and turn that knowledge into action, as you move forward with peace and clarity.
Know your self-worth. Be proud of yourself for making progress that perhaps very few, or no one, recognizes. Recognize it yourself. Healing begins when you recognize your value. The minute you understand how much you are worth, you recognize your potential, and you gain the courage to let go. Let go of limiting beliefs. Let go of guilt. Let go of overthinking. Let go of unforgiveness, and any other stagnant energies that were trapped inside you that do not serve you.
Healing Helps You Recognize Your Worth and Raises Your Standards On How You Should Be Treated
You deserve better than what you were experiencing. You are worthy of being respected and treated right in all situations, interactions, and relationships. Stop absorbing other people’s judgments. Recognize what belongs to you and what does not. Those things that you can control, and the things that you cannot. Recognize the beauty and power within you. Turn your attention inward and discover the depth of your being.
You have been silently winning battles and transforming yourself. Be proud of every step you are taking in the right direction. You are making progress that others don’t recognize. People have not seen your darkest moments.
Recognize what has been holding your back. Critical voices inside your head. Past
obstacles. People that put you down or treated you poorly. Mistakes you have made, and poor choices. Realize that you are not these things, and you can choose differently and act differently. You will learn from these things, improve, and move forward. Recognize that from this point on, you are going to “put your mask on first”. Recognizing that when you grow and invest in yourself, you will have more to give to someone else. This is not being self-centered. It is self-dependent. We must charge our own batteries, if we want to charge others.
Finally, to reveal your brightest light, recognize who you truly are. Long-term verbal abuse can break people emotionally and mentally. It can make you unsure of yourself, and unable to recognize your true value.
I experienced this while growing up. Witnessing and being subjected to emotional abuse affected my development. I did not know who I was or what I wanted. It affected my decision-making and my social skills during crucial developmental years. It was hard for me to feel good about myself, let alone give myself credit. I also had problems when I was complimented. I guess I really did not believe the compliment. It was only after I started to see myself as separate from my parents that this became even slightly possible. And it was a slow process that carried on well into adulthood. And it is that way for many people.
Relax – Remember when you are resting, you are on a break. So relax. The more relaxed you become, the more creative you will be. You can’t change the past. It is out of your hands. Settle down, relax, and make plans for your next steps. This is a time for you to recreate and redefine your life and yourself. Take advantage of the opportunity. You are gathering the right tools, knowledge, and wisdom for your next chapter. That takes time. Remember, a marathon and not a sprint. When you relax, you will achieve clarity. What is next will come to you.
Use rest times to restore. To gain strength and move confidently into the future. To refocus and reset your intentions for yourself and your life. You are never stuck. Reward yourself. Remember that part of the healing process is adding joy to your life. Do things that you love, that bring you peace and joy. According to psychologist, Charles E. Schaefer, “We are never more fully alive, more completely ourselves, or more deeply engrossed in anything than when we are playing”. So go have some fun.
This is the time to let go of limiting beliefs of the past. The negative stories that you were told, and that you told yourself. That you could not do it. You weren’t capable. You didn’t deserve it. These narratives were never yours to begin with. It is also time to forgive those people who created these narratives, including yourself. This is no time for grudges. Let it all go. Forgive them for the trauma you experienced. Generational and otherwise. At the end of the day, you were the one strong enough to break that cycle and step outside your comfort zone and make that change.
Forgiving allows you to write a new story. The one you have always dreamed of. In doing so, you aren’t just making a difference in your own life, you are making a difference in the lives of others. Your children, and others close to you in your circle. You have a chance to break cycles of dysfunction that have existed for generations. They can end with you. Shine your light and let your strength carry you
It is time to rebound, resurface, and return to The Crooked Path.
Stronger, focused, and more determined than ever
And I will see you there. Let’s go!
Check Your CPS (Crooked Path System) - From time to time, I will include an activity that compliments the content of my blog. My intention is to help make what I write more meaningful to you, and help you relate to your own personal journey.
Just as we have become accustomed to checking our GPS to keep us on track, see where we have been, and consider the path forward, I encourage you to check your CPS. It will help you Make That Change
AfterNotes - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKnnh8VDULs
Running On Empty - Jackson Browne
Comments