I'm Gonna Make a Change For Once in My Life. It's Gonna Feel Real Good. Gonna Make a Difference. Gonna Make It Right - Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson
Make That Change. There have been volumes written on the subject of Change. There is not much new that I will be able to tell you regarding change other than reflecting what has already been written, and describing my own experiences with it, my reaction to it, and how it has affected my life. I suspect that much of what I write about in future blogs will be either directly, or indirectly, related to the subject of Change. And my goal is to offer you encouragement to make those changes that help you along your path
Change is the one constant. The one thing that is all around us. Evolution in itself is change. Change is a devious creature. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere and surprises us. Maybe knocks us off our feet if we don’t like it, or don’t expect it. It may affect us in a negative way.
Or it may be a relief. It may make us very happy if it is something that we have been waiting for. It may make our lives better. Add something to our lives. Change can be subtle. We may not even notice change happening around us. It creeps up on us. Little changes. Almost unnoticeable, until these little things all come together in a perfect storm, and..... Bang! The hammer drops, and we wonder how this all happened. You may have heard about the story of the frog and the boiling water, where a frog is placed in tepid water and the water is brought to boil slowly. The frog will not perceive the change and be cooked to death. However, if a frog is placed in boiling water, it will jump out. Change has that effect on us as well. Subtle or sudden. Either way, as a result of the change, things are different.
Change and your path are like bread and butter. Peas and carrots. They go together. You can’t have a path without it being traveled. Someone moving along it. Someone forging the path, whether it be you or someone else. Without movement, there is no path. And as you move along a path, things change. Sometimes dramatically. Imagine walking along a path in the woods. It is peaceful. You are enjoying the exercise and being out in nature, and then out of nowhere, a bear appears in front of you. Or a skunk. I don’t know what is worse. Either way, all of a sudden, your experience changes. The same can be said about the path you follow in life. Your experiences, and people you meet, change your life.
Consider the subtle changes of walking the same path. You are walking briskly. Getting into your zone. All the trees all look the same to you. You are not even noticing the scenery around you. You may be walking past dozens of deer without even noticing. They are camouflaged, and you are oblivious to what is happening around you anyway. You are doing your thing. Maybe you have your earbuds in, and you are entrenched in your favourite playlist or podcast. Eventually your podcast ends. You are snapped out of your zone, and you look around you. Things look different. You are no longer in the forest. You are in an open field. Things around you have changed, and you didn’t even notice it. These are two simple examples of how change can show up in our lives. Suddenly or gradually, and often we are not prepared for it, and sometimes not so pleased about it.
Change can be both a noun and a verb. Change, the noun, is “the act, or instance, of making or becoming different”. For example, a change of leadership, or a change of jobs. It is the change itself. It is what is happening to us, or around us. Change, the verb, is making someone or something different. Altering or modifying something. For example, changing your shoes. Changing the sheets on the bed. Even changing your mind. It is also the replacing of something with something else. Often something that is newer, and “better”. I put better in quotes because not all change is good or better in some eyes. Hence some people longing for, “the good ol’ days”. The substitution of one thing for another.
We can all rattle off many examples of good and bad change in our lives. Change that occurred in the twentieth century was the greatest ever experienced in history. Change was
exponential during that era, as society moved from the agricultural age to the industrial age, and then to the information age. With the change there were many benefits that influenced the well-being of the world’s population and were meant to make life easier. But there were negative effects as well. Change will do that. Any change that is worthwhile you would think benefits people, but unfortunately that is not always the case. One of the most common results of change is the stress it causes or can cause. Out with the old, and in with the new. But many of us like the old. It is comfortable. It is familiar. It is safe.
The thing about Change is that it is necessary. It is inevitable. It is part of life. Much of it is natural, like the change of seasons, or the physical changes of a child as they grow up. Other changes are initiated by people. Most are meant to improve things and make life easier. There is so much to be said about change. Pro and con. The bottom line is that it is constant. There will always be change. And that is what can cause problems in our lives. It can be argued that many of us hate change. We like things to stay as they are. Why fix what isn’t broken? We don’t see it as being broken anyway. We don’t like being pushed, or knocked, outside our comfort zone. We like what is familiar.
But the paradox is that we also want things to be better. Who wouldn’t want to have a
better paying job? Or easier ways of doing things, whether it be at home or at work? More time to ourselves and to enjoy life. That is one of the arguable benefits of much change. So you see, we hate change, but love it at the same time. What we really want is for things to stay the same but get better.
Let’s face it, no one has the perfect life. Something could always improve. Even if we have a poor relationship with our spouse or partner, they are our partner. That relationship is part of what keeps our world together. Of course, we would like to get along better and avoid disagreements or tension, but what are we willing to do to help achieve that? Many people would rather finger-point. We put things off. We will get to it later. There is that one thing in your life that you know that you could do, or should do, differently, and it would make your life that much better. Join that exercise class. Read that book. Take that course. Reserve that half-hour at the end of the day to be present with your partner. But we don't do it
Change inevitably happens all along the Crooked Path. Things are going to change. You have no control over that. Change can affect us along the path in many ways. It can have many negative effects. It can be stressful, as we move from the familiar to the unfamiliar. It can be frustrating. You may not understand why it is necessary. Maybe the change requires skills or an approach that you don’t have and you are tempted to give up. You are confused. It can cause apathy, disengagement, and skepticism. All these things can cause you to get stuck. You may see others are not feeling the same way as you. They are coping quite well, and this can cause cynicism and negativity. I am not just talking about change in the workplace. This applies to change in our homes, in our relationships, and in our personal lives. Changes that are occurring in our own country and the world. We can get stuck. We can regress, get off track or worse.
No One is Coming to Save You
Our lives can take a downward spiral. And we don’t see a way out. We may see the only solution as winning the lottery. Or if someone rescues us. I am telling you that is not going to happen. Even if you did win the lottery. Studies show that one-third of lottery winners declare bankruptcy within three years of their win. They are basically delaying the inevitable. The same would be true if someone came along and helped you. Bailed you out. Helped you get back on your feet. They explained things to you. They taught you how to do some new procedure. They gave you instructions. Maybe they helped you financially. They even gave you a pat on the back and showed confidence in you. All these things would be good, and probably well-intentioned, but in all these cases the responsibility would be on you to take action to change yourself. To change your thoughts, your words, and your actions. To do things differently. Otherwise, you will fall back into your old habits, and before long you will be back where you started.
Life doesn’t get better by chance. It gets better by change. It does all start with you. What
does that mean? That can mean a lot of things. The best place to start is with your thoughts towards change. Change is going to happen anyway. In one way or another. Sooner or later. You need to accept that. Then you need to decide if you are going to be a victim of change. Are you going to let change leave you behind? Are you going to remain stuck? Or are you going to adapt? Studies show that the negative impacts of change are lessened if you participate and are involved in the change. That can also means a lot of things
Remain a victim, or adapt and participate? Which will it be? These are two very different approaches. Two different mindsets, and each can lead to very different results. But it is your choice, and the choice is within your control. If we want our situation to change, we first have to change ourselves. To change ourselves effectively, we have to change our mindset. The way we look at change, or at a specific change.
If You Wanna Make the World a Better Place, Take a Look At Yourself and Make A Change
You and your reality are one. If you think you can’t do something, you won’t be able to do it. If you can’t see a way out, you will stay there. If you think a change is stupid, you will resist it. You won’t participate in it or you will participate reluctantly. But if you think you can do something, that opens up a whole new realm of possibilities. Even if you are not ready for the change, you are more willing to learn, try, and participate. Having a plan makes navigating change easier. If you see the benefit of the change, you will be more willing to deal with it. It is a totally different mindset that will result in totally different outcomes. When you change, everything changes.
If you want to make yourself a better person... If you want to make your life a better life... If you want to navigate the changes happening all around you successfully... Take a look at yourself and.... Make That Change
When you replace “Why is this happening to me?” with “What is this trying to teach me?”, everything shifts. So wherever you are on your path... Whether you are stuck or at an impasse... Progressing, but not happy with the results... Off track and can’t find a way back... or somewhere else.... Your mindset, approach, or perception of change is the first step.
And that is not the easiest thing to do. It is easier said than done, especially because of who we are, who we are conditioned to be, our upbringing, backgrounds and experiences. We are all different, and every situation is different. It is easy for me to say “Make That Change”. Some may interpret that as a demand or a command. Or uncaring. It is up to you. You are on your own. Too bad if you don’t. It is on you. But I say it as encouragement. Affirming that you can do it. You have it within you. You just haven’t tapped into it yet. And that is the way forward.
It may seem like you are on your own. Maybe you are. But it starts with you. There is work you have to do first. And much of the work is inner work. The initial work is inner work. Lasting change comes from the inside out. From within you. Change from the outside in never lasts. No one is coming to save you. You must save yourself. That thought will empower you as you move forward. You Got This!
I will see you on the Crooked Path
AfterNotes -
Man in the Mirror - Michael Jackson
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